Saved items from other sites
Every year since 1982, the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a contest that calls for submission of the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. I thought the 2014 contest had ended and so I could pilfer book thread material from it, but I was wrong, it’s still a few months off. So, in the meantime, here are a couple of choice entries from last year:
Mildred, sitting under the hair dryer at The Curl & Go and thumbing through a Victoria’s Secret catalogue, felt a shudder and a fleeting moment of commiseration when she saw those tiny thongs the models were sporting in the name of underwear because, as it happened, her own butt cheeks tended to gobble up her Fruit of the Loom For Mature Women white cotton panties like a pair of starving wolverines fighting over a flatfish.
Too funny. I had to save it.